16 classic jokes

1,

Summer is hot, and the bedroom eats watermelon together.

I came to a mm and asked, "Can I eat?"

Answer: "You can eat the seeds and leave the watermelons."

  2,

One day, I drove on the road and the tires were out of breath. I asked where there was inflation. My colleague said, "The streets are full of tires!"

3,

You occupy four positions in the theater, others call you up, you just um, no matter where you are. The security guard came and said, "Enough hate~ Brother, which one is on the road?"

You bite your teeth and say, "The upstairs aisle fell!"

4,

A monkey must first stuff it into the butt before eating it. The administrator explained: Someone once fed the peach, the peach core could not be pulled out, the monkey was scared, and now must be measured and eaten.

5,

A female dormitory is haunted.

One day, Xiaohong met.

Ghost said: school girl. . . look. . . I have no feet. . . I have no feet. . .

Xiaohong: What is there? Sister, you see, I don't have a chest, I don't have a chest.

6,

A man was sick and went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor said that he had a very rare disease. He had to be isolated in the room. Others could not touch him. From today, he could only eat a special pancake.

The patient asked the doctor: "Excuse me, will the pancakes have special effects on my illness?"

The doctor said, "No, let you eat pancakes because you can only get this pancake under the door of your isolated room."

7,

A man wrote a love letter to her girlfriend.

In order to express his love more strongly, he painted a lot of hearts on the back of the envelope and wore arrows.

Unfortunately, his girlfriend returned to the channel: "What does the mutton string behind the envelope mean?"

  8,

Small A said to Xiao B: Digging - it’s raining outside! ! did you see?

Little B is very excited: Yes! I saw! What about you?

  9,

Xiao Ming has been begging his mother to let him be an entertainer.

Mom said, "You are still young and will talk later"

Xiao Ming does not give up, or constantly ask for mother

Finally, my mother couldn’t stand it, and said:

10.

Chocolate and tomato fight, chocolate won.

  why?

Because chocolate bar ~

11,

Q: A rabbit races with a turtle that runs very fast. Guess who wins?

A: Rabbit~~

Q: Wrong~! It’s a tortoise, and there’s a tortoise that runs very fast in front. It’s running very fast~~

Q: The rabbit is not reconciled. He runs a game with a turtle wearing sunglasses. Who wins this time?

A: Well. . Rabbit

Q: Wrong ~~! The turtle took a pair of sunglasses, too! It’s the turtle that ran very fast. ^O^

12.

Q: Dandan is the name of a puppy or the name of a tiger.

A: Tiger, because it’s awkward~

13,

One day, the turtle dad, the tortoise and the turtle son decided to go on an outing. They brought a Shandong pie and two cans of sea chicken, and they set off. After ten years of hard work, I finally arrived! They sit on the ground, unloading equipment and preparing for dinner. As a result, I found that I did not have a can opener!

Turtle son: ... then I went back and got it.

Turtle Dad: Hey son! fast! Mom and Dad are waiting for you to come back to dinner together, go back soon!

Turtle Son: Be sure to wait for me to come back! Not to eat!

So the turtle son set foot on his way...

Time flies, the years are like a shuttle, and it has been 20 years since the blink of an eye. The turtle son has not yet appeared.

Turtle Mom: My husband... Do you want to start your meal first? I am so hungry...

Turtle Dad: No! We promised my son! Um... I will wait for him for another five years. If I don’t come, I will leave him alone!

In the blink of an eye, it was five years, and the turtle son still had no trace. Turtle and tortoise parents no matter! The two old people decided to start.

Take out the big pie and get ready to eat...

Suddenly, the turtle son poked his head out from behind the tree...

Turtle son: "Rely! I know you will steal! Cheat me back to get the can opener?

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